Living with acne

Talking to my sisters and discussing with my girlfriends has brought me to a conclusion that acne greatly affects a person's self-esteem. Our skin is the largest organ we carry and it is the first thing people notice because they literally cannot help it. If the eyes are the windows to a person's soul then the skin is the room with the windows.

A person's skin also represents an individual's overall health condition and unfortunately, we are born to favor a healthier person than a weaker one even if having acne does not scientifically mean that a person has an unhealthy lifestyle. Our bodies are idiosyncratic, which means each of us are physically (and mentally) unique and our body reacts to situation differently. Explains why another's holy grail skincare will be other's poison and vice versa.

Ever since my acne breakout 2 years ago, I have had a terribly hard time coping with it as my self-esteem was so low to a point where I rejected being present in any social events. My down time was spent worrying and talking about my skin and I am so thankful for my mom and sisters to have always put up with my whining that ended up in tears. I have been so frustrated with my skin that I have spent countless days crying over it, so pathetic to be crying over something so shallow but investing so much love, care and money on my skin with no returns is like unrequited love but worse, because the scars are external.

One of the downside of working as a freelancer and being paid for your appearance is having someone remind you of your flaws over and over again.

"Your skin is terrible, clients would not want you."

"Why didn't you take care of your skin"

"Stop eating oily food, it causes pimples."

People (and friends) start throwing their opinions at you and with good intentions, but it is difficult to take it all in on certain days.

I have read about articles on others having depression because of acne or similar emotional affects due to skin problems and it is really awful when I try to put myself in the shoes of others who had it worst than me. 

Thankfully, I am generally an optimistic (I think) person and I am now able to cope with my acne issues with many lessons learned.

1. I am not alone.

Google any thing related to acne/skin problems and you'll realize that you are not the only one fighting this journey and so many others have it worst than you. I find it really helpful to know that there are others fighting the same battle and it is inspiring to see how others are dealing with their skin and that there are so many out there who understands what you are going through.

2. Expressing my frustration helps.

Some people say it make things worst to dwell on negative issues but I think it is healthy to express negative emotions rather than having pent-up emotions that may be self-destructive in the long run. My mom and my sisters have been such angels in putting up with my ranting, whining and crying from my skin and I honestly am not sure what would have been without them. 

3. Spending time with people who truly love me.

In relation to the second point, spend time with people who do not  notice (or make it a point to avoid bringing up) your skin issues.I know people mean no harm when they point out my obvious flaws during a meet-up but what's the point of saying "eh, your skin quite bad ah, you okay ah?" etc. My closest friends never once brought up my skin nor twitch their eyes when they first saw me unless I brought it up, mostly they would be like "oh, I didn't notice before". I guess it's true to say people who love me really love me for who I am.

4. Spending time doing what I love.

It was really hard for me to focus on anything else cause my skin was my priority at one point of time as I was not able to take up jobs and casting calls because of it. Not being able to attend casting calls were the worst cause I actually enjoy working. Thank goodness I have my second and third love which are tennis and singing. Doing what I love was important to me because I needed that self-validation that I have more to work on improving instead of just my skin.

5. "Everything will be alright in the end, if it's not, it's not the end."

Cheesy, but this quote rings so true. As frustrated as I was during my first acne outbreak, I never stopped fighting because I always believed that with the advancement of medication and technology in the beauty industry nowadays, I will definitely find my holy grail sooner or later. Even though I have not found it yet, I did recover from my first breakout from antibiotics, and I still firmly believe everything will be well and swell in the end. There are already some products and clinics on my mind like DrX clinic or Skinartclinic that I have been eyeing to visit but they can be quite costly (from what I heard) which is why I now have a reason to work even harder than before.

Even though I am still struggling with mild acne now, it is a lot easier than before and I can only hope to continue my journey with my head held higher than before. :)